Embracing the Crucible
How Suffering Shapes Strength, Wisdom, and Greatness
There’s an old saying that smooth seas never made a skilled sailor. If that’s true, then suffering—pain, struggle, hardship—is the sea itself: unpredictable and relentless. Right now, we see suffering all around us—economic instability, job losses, inflation pressures, and global conflicts fueling uncertainty and anxiety. These struggles, whether financial, personal, or geopolitical, feel endless. We try to avoid pain at all costs, but what if we have it all backward? What if these very difficulties are not just obstacles but opportunities? What if suffering isn’t something to run from but something to embrace?
The Purifying Power of Pain
Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen put it best:
"Now, what does pain do to make a man great? Well, pain is a purifier. We get wind learning out of books, but we get wisdom from suffering. Never go to consult a man who hasn't suffered in some way. Pain is like the tightening of the strings of a violin producing better melody. Pain is like the hammer and the chisel hacking away great chunks of egotism and selfishness in a rock in order to bring out the form. Pain is the burning away of dross in order to reveal gold."
Sheen, a Roman Catholic Archbishop, television personality, and modern philosopher, had a gift for making complex truths accessible. He understood something we often forget: suffering isn’t just an unfortunate aspect of existence—it’s essential for personal growth.
Peter Hollins’ How to Suffer Well explores this idea, showing how suffering, when understood correctly, can shape us rather than break us. Drawing from Buddhism, Stoicism, and Viktor Frankl’s logotherapy, he highlights how reframing pain can change our experience of it.
Pain Is Inevitable, Suffering Is a Choice
Buddhism teaches a powerful distinction: Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. Life inevitably brings hardship—loss, disappointment, failure—but our reaction determines whether we are crushed or strengthened. Pain is a raw sensation; suffering is how we interpret it.
Consider the Tibetan monks who practice detachment from suffering by changing their perspective. Thich Nhat Hanh, the Vietnamese Buddhist master, often taught that mindful awareness of pain removes its power to cause mental anguish. One famous story tells of a monk who endured intense physical pain during meditation—not by resisting it but by observing it objectively. This detached awareness stripped the pain of its emotional power, turning it into a tool for spiritual growth.
Adversity as Essential Training
The Stoics also saw hardship as training for greatness. Seneca famously said, “A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials.” Hollins builds on this, emphasizing that suffering is only unbearable when we fail to extract meaning from it.
History is full of figures who thrived under adversity. Marcus Aurelius, despite constant wars, personal loss, and political betrayal, wrote Meditations, a book of philosophical reflections that still teaches future generations about resilience. He found tranquility not by avoiding suffering, but by accepting and learning from it.
A modern example is Admiral James Stockdale, a Vietnam War POW who endured years of torture. He survived by embracing what he called “realistic optimism”—acknowledging harsh realities while maintaining faith in eventual triumph. His ability to use suffering constructively not only helped him endure but made him an inspirational leader and teacher.
Finding Meaning in Suffering
If anyone understood suffering, it was Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor who found that those who endured were the ones who assigned meaning to their suffering. “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves,” he wrote. Frankl’s insights guide us toward seeking meaning in hardship, transforming pain into powerful motivation rather than despair.
The Modern Fear of Discomfort
Today, we are conditioned to avoid discomfort at all costs. We numb pain with distractions—endless scrolling, streaming services, instant gratification. Pain is treated as something unnatural, something to be medicated or escaped. Yet history shows that wisdom comes from facing hardship head-on.
Abraham Lincoln, for example, endured deep depression and crushing failures, yet these trials forged an empathy and resilience that shaped his presidency. His struggles were not just obstacles—they became the foundation of his greatness.
As Sheen pointed out, someone who has never struggled is missing a crucial piece of wisdom. True understanding and strength come from battles fought and obstacles overcome.
How to Suffer Well
Hollins offers practical strategies for transforming suffering into growth:
Reframe struggles as lessons. Ask yourself: What is this experience teaching me? Winston Churchill, in the midst of London’s destruction during World War II, famously said, “Never let a good crisis go to waste,” reframing hardship as an opportunity for growth.
Control what you can, accept what you cannot. Stoicism teaches that peace comes from focusing on what’s within our control. Theodore Roosevelt exemplified this principle, turning childhood health struggles into relentless self-improvement.
Embrace discomfort as essential training. Navy SEALs have a phrase: “Embrace the suck.” They recognize that suffering isn’t just something to endure—it’s what builds strength, endurance, and resilience.
The Refining Fire
Sheen offers one final perspective:
"Suffering becomes beautiful when anyone bears great calamities with cheerfulness, not through insensibility but through greatness of mind."
Enduring adversity cheerfully, with awareness and purpose, refines us. We don’t get to choose our hardships, but we do get to choose their meaning.
The wisdom of Sheen, Frankl, Aurelius, and others is clear: running from suffering weakens us; embracing it makes us stronger.
So next time hardship strikes, pause and ask: What is being forged within me? If the answer includes resilience, wisdom, or character, then perhaps—just perhaps—the struggle is worth enduring.