When Pride Leads, Leaders Fall

The root cause of most blowups isn’t strategy—it’s ego, pride, and a lack of self-awareness.

It’s easy to watch the today’s (VERY) public fallout (or crash out, as they kids say) between President Trump and Elon Musk and see it as just another clash of two outsized personalities. Headlines frame it as a disagreement over policy, but let's be clear: this isn't really about policy. It’s about something deeper and more revealing: an excess of pride, a lack of self-awareness, and an absence of humility.

Throughout my career, I’ve seen this pattern unfold over and over again. Fast-moving partnerships stall out. Trusted teams fall apart. The root cause is almost always the same—leaders getting in their own way. When relationships implode, the common threads are usually a refusal to self-reflect, an inflated sense of certainty, and an unwillingness to bend.

The Parable of the Frog and the Scorpion

There’s an old story you’ve probably heard—the frog and the scorpion. The scorpion asks the frog for a ride across the river. The frog hesitates, afraid he’ll be stung. The scorpion assures him, “If I sting you, we both drown.” That logic wins the frog over. But midway across, the scorpion stings him anyway. As they both begin to sink, the frog asks why. The scorpion simply says, “It’s my nature.”

That line says it all. Some leaders sting even when it doesn’t serve them. Not because it’s strategic, but because they haven’t done the work to understand their own nature. They’re driven by impulse, ego, and habit. And too often, they take others down with them.

Raylan Givens Said It Best

One of my favorite quotes comes from Raylan Givens, a fictional U.S. Marshal from the show Justified:

“If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole.”

It’s funny, but it hits a nerve. Self-awareness means recognizing when you’re the common denominator in your problems. If every room you walk into ends in conflict, maybe the issue isn’t the room. Leaders without self-awareness fall into this trap. They blame, deflect, and repeat the same mistakes, all while wondering why things keep breaking around them.

Pride and the Echo Chamber

Pride feeds this dysfunction. It makes it hard to hear feedback, admit mistakes, or even pause long enough to ask, “Could I be wrong?” Over time, proud leaders build echo chambers around themselves. Advisors learn to flatter, not challenge. Dissenters are pushed out. Eventually, the leader is left with a mirror that only reflects what they want to see.

Look at Lincoln for a counterexample. He built a team of rivals—people who disagreed with him, sometimes strongly. He welcomed the friction because he knew it made him better. That kind of humility isn’t just rare—it’s essential.

The Dangers of Believing Your Own Myth

Leaders who define themselves as rule-breakers or visionaries often get trapped by their own mythology. When your brand is built on never backing down, admitting fault starts to feel like betrayal. So you dig in. You rationalize. You keep charging ahead, even when the path is clearly wrong.

Henry Ford is a classic case. His early brilliance turned into stubbornness. He shut out critics, clung to outdated ideas, and resisted change—even when it hurt the business. The lesson? Vision without humility curdles into arrogance. And arrogance isolates.

Historical Caution: Nero and Seneca

If you want a darker example, look at Nero. Early on, his advisor Seneca tried to steer him toward thoughtful leadership. But as Nero’s power grew, so did his pride. He started seeing Seneca not as a guide, but as a threat. The story ends, predictably, with betrayal and blood.

History is full of leaders undone by ego. It’s not a new problem. But it’s one that keeps repeating, especially when power goes unchecked.

Why Humility Is Strength

Humility doesn’t mean playing small. It means recognizing that you don’t have all the answers—and that you never will. It means listening. Adapting. Taking responsibility. George Washington understood this. He had the chance to seize more power but chose to step away. That act of restraint became a defining moment of leadership.

The best leaders I’ve known weren’t perfect. But they were self-aware. They noticed when they were off course. They took feedback seriously. They stayed curious, even when it would’ve been easier to pretend they had it all figured out.

How to Build It

So how do you cultivate self-awareness—and keep pride in check? It’s not complicated. But it does require discipline.

1. Ask for real feedback. Not polite nods. Not compliments. Ask people you trust, “What am I missing? What’s one thing I could do better?” Then shut up and listen.

2. Reflect often. Carve out time to review your decisions and interactions. Don’t just ask what happened—ask why you responded the way you did. Was it fear? Ego? Insecurity?

3. Spot the patterns. When the same issues keep coming up—missed deadlines, broken trust, tension in meetings—step back. Look for your fingerprints on the problem.

4. Practice humility. Give credit away. Take blame when it’s yours—and sometimes even when it isn’t. Say “I don’t know” more often. It earns more respect than bluffing ever will.

5. Keep pride on a leash. It’s not about killing your confidence. It’s about keeping ego from making decisions for you. Pride should never be in the driver’s seat.

The Bottom Line

Public feuds and broken partnerships may grab headlines, but they also offer timeless lessons. Behind every implosion is usually a set of blind spots that went unaddressed. Ego unexamined. Pride unchallenged. And humility undeveloped.

Self-awareness isn’t a soft skill—it’s a survival skill. And leaders who ignore it don’t just risk embarrassment. They risk everything.

Don’t become the scorpion. Learn your nature. Adjust course. Lead with clarity, humility, and just enough doubt to stay sharp.